I Was a Teenage Warner
by ProjectAnimation
Summary: Brain's newest plan in taking over the world involves something more immature- however hopefully effective- he has realized that The Warners, while zany, have never been captured, denied, or unsuccessful in their schemes. He realizes that with these powers, he could be invincible! But after a failed test of the serum, the unthinkable happens...
1. The Test

HellOOOOO, Nurses! Happy Halloween! I hope you enjoy this story that I began writing at 9 P.M. yesterday! I'll be uploading more over the coarse of the day. So sit back and relax in your polyester costumes, gorge yourself on candy, and enjoy reading!

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><p>It was a stormy autumn night in L.A. The clouds over the city were gray in the black and white lights of the metropolis below. It was just like any other Friday night in the bustling city. Lights, clinking glass, and popping wine corks poured from every glamorous eatery in the city, mingling with the shouts and honks of busy streets. The freeways and interstates weaved up through the buildings in a never-ending string of cars. Green palm trees and street topiaries swayed through the cool humidity as if they were dancing to the harmonious urban sounds, and it seemed as though the whole landscape was strung with glittering white lights. Laughter seemed to carry up through the black sky and away into the heavy smog roof over Los Angelis' head.<p>

A half-mile off of Interstate 5, on the outskirts where the towering buildings meet the elegant Hollywood hills, ACME Labs was sitting quietly in the blue twilight. Dry leaves skittered across the empty parking lot like dimmed golden foil, and in the distance, the gleaming white tops of the Hollywood sign peeked through the looming buildings. The car of the scientist pulled out and rumbled away quietly from the building, and the lights flicked on.

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><p>"Gee, Brain, what are we gonna do tonight?"<p>

"The same thing we do every night, Pinky- Try to take over the world!"

They're Pinky and the Brain

Yes, Pinky and the Brain

One is a genius- the other's insane

To prove their mousy worth

They'll overthrow the earth

They're Pinky, they're Pinky and the Brain

Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain

NARF!

"OW! Hey, what's the big idea, jerk?" Yakko yelled, holding his tail in his hands as he turned on the brilliant mouse. The Brain only grinned. "We truly appreciate your contribution to science," he replied, his grin growing all the less pleasant.

Yakko stormed out; his siblings and Alice following close behind and yelling angrily. "That's what I get for singing the theme song for him _every _night?", "…It's 15 minutes of our lives just to get out here in the first place!", "I want to eat at Chile's!" "I mean…" Their voices faded away as they left the facility, fuming.

The Brain waved goodbye sweetly, three thick black hairs pinched in his pink fingers.

"Hahahaha, NARF!" Pinky squealed, cart-wheeling across the counter gleefully. "Are we going out tonight, Brain? We should go to Martinelli's! A warm lasagna sounds wonderful on a night like this."

"No, Pinky!" The Brain snapped impatiently, grabbing up his pencil and lugging it to the notepad, "We are certainly not going out. You know what's going on tonight." He began scribbling down as fast as he could, trying to ignore his cagemate's antics.

Pinky stopped mid- cartwheel and tumbled over, shaking his head dizzily. He giggled, thinking to himself, and then shot up, thrilled. "Oh, Brain, I know! I know why! Ooh! Ooh! Ooh!" he squealed, raising his hand. "Pink me pick me pick me! ZORT!"

The Brain rolled his eyes at his friend's foolishness. Why did he associate with the mentally moronic? With his intelligence, he figured that he could answer that question. But somehow, much to his dismay, he couldn't. He pointed lazily with his pencil. 'What?"

"The Charlie Brown Halloween special is on tonight!" Pinky cheered, clapping and dancing around his short friend. "I'll get the popcorn!"

"No, you will not, Pinky!" Brain shouted after him, and Pinky skid to a halt. He scratched his head, then snapped his fingers brightly.

"Okay, Brain, _you_ get the popcorn, and I'll get the cheesy flavor powder you love so much!"

_SMACK! _

"_NARF_!" Pinky cackled gleefully, rubbing his head. "Ooh, Brain, an extra-big bop! Is it for the holiday?"

"Of course, my dear Pinky," The Brain mumbled crossly, continuing to jot down notes without paying Pinky too much attention. "Tonight, I have something ground-breaking planned. Tonight, I shall be triumphant in taking over the world, and just in time!"

"But wait, Brain!" Pinky squealed, poking his cagemate's shoulder repeatedly, "If we do take over the world, then what about tomorrow night?"

"Pray tell what you mean by this pointless observation?"

Pinky stared at his toes and tapped them patiently. "_Weeeeeell_... If you're busy ruling the world, then you'll be too busy to go to the Halloween party tomorrow night!"

"Ugh. How many times _must_ I explain this, Pinky?" The Brain groaned. "Every year, when we get our invitation, they _demand_ that we must wear ridiculous and pointless costumes, drive _all_ the way to the studio, and then, as if it couldn't get any worse, we must associate and partake in empty, informal, and downright bland conversation with people far below my intellectual level. And when we go, as we almost _always_ do because of your incessant begging, I waste 12 hours a night that I could be using to plot my worldwide domination! Why you even waste your few remaining brain cells even _considering_ going is so far beyond me! Now just forget it! We're not going, and that's final!"

Seeing Pinky's downturned face, he softened slightly and motioned for him to come over. "Come now, Pinky, as the youth of today put it: 'suck it up'. We have a world to take over!"

Pinky sidled over, obviously trying to forget about the party. "What are you going to do, Brain? Turn everybody into evil zombie slaves that only live to do your evil bidding? Or are you going to summon sorceresses to bewitch tricks-or-treaters to become your loyal followers? Or are you and Jack Skellington going to disguise as Santa Claus and take over Christmas together? _Ooh_, Brain, I just gave myself the heebie- jeebies!" Pinky shuddered, holding himself.

The Brain sighed once more. "No, my dear, simple-minded companion," he replied, taking Pinky's hand and pulling him along. "Come, and I shall show you tonight's plan!"

He led his cagemate across the counter and to the whiteboard, where scribbles and diagrams were shown, as well as a long strip that looked like smudges. But upon closer inspection, Pinky realized that it was a complete list of… Animaniacs episodes?

"Naaarf…" Pinky breathed, looking up at the never-ending list. "Egad, Brain, what it this?"

The Brain smiled up at his master plan, confident that there was no way it could fail. "Behold, Pinky; I have discovered something genius! Tell me, Pinky, if your small head can process my words- what is so special about cartoon characters?"

"Emmmmm, they can do everything that Stan Ipkiss can't without his mask?"

"Close, surprisingly," he muttered under his breath. "Observe, Pinky!"

He pointed at the whiteboard with his pencil as a pointer at the first episode: _De-Zanitized_.

"You see, Pinky. I have carefully observed every episode of the show, and have accurately constructed a list of every impossible feat performed, as well as the result. Now listen carefully; have the Warner siblings ever been defeated?"

"Defeated?" Pinky bit his finger, thinking very hard. "I'd suppose not. It depends on what you mean by 'defeated'."

Brain drummed his fingers on his pencil patiently. "You see; I have found out that cartoon characters can perform incredible feats with minor injury and/or failure, and that if one possessed the ability to do these things, they could be completely invincible! Take the Warner siblings, for example. They can accomplish any task with no hindrances, and have always been successful in their debatably clever schemes. Thus, I conclude my explanation of 'being defeated'."

"But we _are_ cartoon characters, Brain," Pinky pointed out mildly. "We even have our own theme song. Couldn't we do those things, too, if we tried?"

The Brain hunched his shoulders and furrowed his brow. "Unfortunately, Mr. Ruegger and Mr. Hastings didn't give us the zany abilities that they gave everyone else, besides the ability to survive horrifically fatal accidents. It's almost as though they did that on purpose, thinking that that's what prompted our laughs. I beg to differ, but that isn't the point. Anyway, I have worked tirelessly to find a solution to my predicament, and I also found that Americans prefer zany, kooky cartoon characters, as proven by extensive research on popular culture.

"I have realized something. All these years, I have tried- and failed- to win over the American people, as well as other equally incompetent countries, with intelligence. But I found that people adore cartoons! And even more than that, witty, obnoxious cartoon characters. Look around and see how Mickey, Bugs, Mr. Squarepants, and the rest of that undesireable lot dominate today's modern culture, with their clever, innocent, endearing nature. Why, I could be equally as witty and charming! Think of the things I could accomplish if I knew I could never fail! But I'd need a source to derive the invincibility from. If I want to take over this world of classless idiots and mold it into a functioning utopia, I have to do it not with force and strict discipline, but rather, the undying energy and confidence of a keen-minded cartoon character. Pinky, are you pondering what I'm pondering?"

"I think so, Brain, but how do we know Sheldon and Amy will ever be together?"

"_No_, Pinky!" The Brain cried angrily, "I must acquire the powers of a zany cartoon character!"

Pinky clapped and cheered. "Ooh, marvelous idea, Brain! I think- oh, wait! No, no, no…"

"What could possibly be wrong with this idea?" The Brain snapped, crossing his arms to retrain himself from bopping Pinky again.

"How will you get powers like that?" Pinky asked.

"Simple, my dear Pinky," The Brain replied, pointing up at the whiteboard. "I got my hands on a bit of a Yakko Warner's hair, and will extract the key elements from his DNA needed to become invincible. Come, and I shall show you how it shall be done."

He led his bumbling, gawky friend to the sterilization tray, where the scientists left samples to soak in disinfectant.

"Watch closely, Pinky," he said, dropping the hairs into the disinfectant. "The hairs shall soak here, and then I will soak them in ddH2O.'

"What's that?"

The Brain sighed hopelessly. He rephrased the sentence through clenched teeth. "I will soak the hairs in chemicals. Then, I'll put them in ethanol and let them dry."

"Then do you eat them to get the cartoon-y stuff?"

"Ugh, you repulsive animal, of course I won't eat them!" The Brain cried, recoiling from his cagemate. "Unlike what you so cannibalistically suggested, I will simply slice them and put them in enzymatic laundry powder to break down their chromatic makeup and find the abnormally arranged and/or mutated nucleobases that set cartoons apart from regular organisms."

Pinky hugged himself, long-gone in understanding. "Em, Brain? Maybe you're over thinking everything. Maybe you should just try being funnier and telling jokes and laughing and jumping around. Maybe try smiling?"

The Brain shot a scathing look at his smiling cagemate. "Pinky, my usual smile makes sleeping babies cry. I cannot _possibly_ find it in myself to be 'funny', as you so crudely put it, without the aid of some sort of humoristic carcinogen."

"Well, I think you could. Just think of something funny! Or maybe try acting sprarcitic?"

The Brain held his forehead. "How you manage to mix 'sarcastic' and 'spastic' together it far beyond me, Pinky. And you can't _act_ sarcastic, you can only verbally express a phrase that inexplicably conveys a _sense_ that one is being sarcastic."

Pinky blinked his wide blue eyes, and Brain couldn't help but feel boiling impatience with the tall white mouse, especially that _clueless_ buck-toothed smile.

"You know, Brain, I believe that you speak a different language and English at the same time," Pinky replied, shrugging brightly.

The Brain leaned down into the tray with his arms in the fingers of a latex glove, fishing the three hairs out. He sighed. "No, I believe you are mistaken. I can speak in a basic scientific jargon, which is founded upon Latin and Greek roots yet _in _the English dictionary, but I am afraid that I can't speak _Pinky_."

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><p>It had been a long night of soaking, slicing, re-soaking for good measure, and finally, extracting every bit of DNA from Yakko's hairs. The Brain had worked feverishly to accomplish this, ignoring the sweat and sting of chemicals, but finally, his work was done.<p>

Pinky had abandoned him an hour before, going to watch the Charlie Brown special alone and hum a few bars of 'Nobody Knows…' before falling fast asleep with popcorn crammed in his mouth. He woke to see the silhouette of The Brain in the cage's entrance, the light of chemical fusion glowing behind him like some sort of David Copperfield special. In his outstretched hand, Pinky could see a beaker with a few drops of glowing blue liquid, shaking and bouncing in the bottom of the glass as though it couldn't even contain itself.

Pinky rolled over on his stomach and squealed, "Oh, Brain you'll never believe it!"

The Brain sighed. "The Great Pumpkin never came to Linus' pumpkin patch. I know. You tell me the same exact thing every year."

"Why didn't he, Brain? It was so sincere!" Pinky cried, neglecting everything The Brain had just said.

"Because it wasn't sincere enough," The Brain responded, denying himself the pleasure of explaining that the Great Pumpkin _was_ indeed a myth. Oh, the years of practice he had in answering these same questions and restraining himself from such longings. It absolutely unnerved him.

"I thought it was the most sincere one I've ever seen," Pinky sighed to himself sadly, but almost immediately forgot about it perked up. He yawned happily, "What's that, Brain? Polyjuice Potion?"

"Yakko's zany substances. It was hard, but I did it," The Brain said, trying to forget the idiotic comparison. "His DNA's as uncontrollable as his personality. But I found a pattern that repeats only in his- and surely other cartoons'- DNA. They have a different pair of nucleotides than regular organisms, unlike anything I've ever seen."

Pinky sat up and stretched his arms with another yawn. "A what?"

The Brain sighed. It was so taxing, explaining such basic things to such a creature as simple as Pinky. "DNA is made up of two pairs of joined nucleobases: adenine to guanine and thymine to cytosine. Yakko has another pair of completely unknown nucleobases, and I managed to separate most of them from his chromatic makeup and into this." He held up the glowing beaker. "I believe with the right amount of experimentation, I can figure out just how to harness the energy contained."

Once again, Pinky didn't understand, so he piped up, "Can I give the new ones names?"

"The new what?"

"The new base-thingies," he responded brightly.

"Nucleobases aren't 'thingies'," Brain growled.

"Can we call them Cheech and Chong?"

"Oh dear Lord, Pinky," Brain sighed into his hand.

"Is that a 'yes'?"

"Yes, yes, Pinky, go ahead, but just listen for a minute!"

"Kay! _Zip_!"

"Right. My point is, these nucleotides-,"

"Cheech and Chong."

"_Pinky_!"

"Oh, right! _Zip_ again!"

"Okay. Well, _Cheech_ and _Chong_," Brain snarled through clenched teeth, "Are completely unheard of and may be highly unstable, and I feel that I must test their effects on a normal organism, preferably on another of my species. There could be varying and unpredictable results, if you understand what I mean."

"Right-o, Brain, a test! But… oh no! I didn't study! Oh no, Brain! Oh no! Oh no! Oh no!" Pinky burst into tears.

"No, Pinky, I mean give another mouse the serum and see the effects!" The Brain yelled over Pinky's cries.

Pinky perked up. "Oh, right, Brain! ZORT! How much are you going to have?"

The Brain admired the lively liquid in the beaker as it swished around. "Well, seeing how the serum can move without a potential source of energy- or, so to say, lacks a benefactor- it must contain a dangerously high level of energy. That being said, I believe that I must calculate the amount that can be injected, or the results could be fatal- or worse.

"I only got two milliliters out of the hair, and I've concluded that it will be just enough: one milliliter for a test subject and one for me. According to our stature and water content, it's just the correct amount to fill our bloodstream."

"Who are you going to give the serum to?"

The Brain glanced into Pinky's eyes for just a moment, but turned away, going red.

Pinky may have been wacky, but he wasn't clueless. He clutched his chest and gasped, "Me? Oh Brain, but you know I hate needles! They make me so queasy and icky! Please don't make me do it! Oh, _please_, Brain!"

The Brain held out his hands. "But Pinky, wouldn't you like to help me in taking over the world, like you always do? And you know me, that I would never hurt you! You'll be fine! It's just a quick pinch, and then it's over. And once it's there, you won't even know it happened. And the serum shouldn't harm you- I think- but still, you'll be fine. Come now, Pinky- I- PINKY! Stop your crying this instant!"

Pinky pulled his thumb from his mouth and looked up at The Brain with his teary, impossibly sweet, blue eyes.

"There we are, Pinky," The Brain said. "You know that that's no way to carry on. You are a grown mouse. And I'll have to get a shot, too, so it's not exactly like the grass is greener over here, either. Come along now, and we'll just get this over with."

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><p>Pinky bit his tongue nervously, trying to ignore the tingles in his belly as he looked at the long, scary needle. He gulped. "Egad, Brain… that's a really big needle…"<p>

"It's the smallest one you could find. That's just what you told me," The Brain mumbled, concentrating on steadying the syringe.

"I know, but still... Will it hurt?"

"It'll just sting for a second."

"Promise?"

"Yes, Pinky."

"Really, do you pinky-promise it won't hurt, Brain? Haha! That's my name! ZORT!"

"I promise, it'll sting for just a moment! Now, hold your arm still, or it _will_ hurt."

Pinky recoiled in terror and cried out, "Oh, Brain, no, no, no! Please, please don't say that! Now I'm scared, Brain!"

The Brain pulled away the needle and held Pinky's arm down, trying to steady him. They had been at it for nearly fifteen minutes, and The Brain could feel his patience (and remaining sanity) slipping from between his fingers as though he was trying to hold water. The syringe was filled with the swishing blue substance, and The Brain could see the tip moving. Injecting it steadily would be quite a task just as it is, and Pinky's flailing limbs wasn't helping at all. He sighed and tried once again to shush his crying test subject.

"It'll be just fine, Pinky, okay? Now just hold still."

But Pinky continued squirming and jerking away, and Brain felt himself growing anxious as he tried calming his poor cagemate down. He couldn't steady Pinky's arm, and he could feel his other hand shaking with the syringe swaying dreadfully around with the serum's energy.

Finally, Pinky's arm stopped trembling and Brain positioned the tip of the needle just above Pinky's fur.

"Here we go…"

"Wait! Not yet!"

"What now?"

"Oh, okay, I'm ready now!"

The Brain sighed through clenched teeth. He repositioned the needle and placed his trembling thumb on the plunger, feeling sweat running through his fur. Steady… steady… any moment now… just breathe and get it over with, before Pinky loses his mind… Here we go, and…

"WAIT!"

"OW!"

Pinky's arm flung away Brain's hand and he ducked down, cowering in terror at the shiny needle, and The Brain went sprawling back, trying desperately to grab hold of something stable. He fell onto his back and felt a sharp pain in his upper arm-

"Oh, no, Brain, I didn't mean to! Please, it wasn't my fault-,"

"_PINKY_!"

Pinky ran over to help Brain up and saw the syringe plunged down all the way into his arm. He grabbed at his mouth, his cheeks turning a nasty green. "Ugh, Brain, I think I'm going to…"

The Brain grabbed the syringe and ripped it out with a yelp, feeling fury and spiraling horror building up in his head. He cast the syringe away furiously.

"Pinky, look what you've done!" He tried to stand, but his violently shaking legs gave way and he fell again to the countertop. Pinky ran over, still holding his mouth.

"Oh, Brain… Here…" he took his poor cagemate's arm and pulled him to his unsteady feet. He helped his poor friend to a book, and The Brain plopped down, holding his sore arm miserably.

"Gee, I'm sorry, Brain. I told you I don't like needles," Pinky said.

"That is no excuse! You injected me, and now, who knows what will happen!" The Brain began pacing the counter, mumbling to himself.

Pinky played with his fingers, trying to avoid The Brain's scathing eyes. "Well… at least nothing has happened to you… yet."

"Thank you for that depressingly blatant statement, Pinky, but now I must figure out what is going to happen to me."

Just as he said that, his head began to spin, and he fell to his knees, trying to regain his balance.

"Brain!" Pinky ran and helped The Brain to his feet again.

"Oh, Pinky… I'm so horribly dizzy… how much serum did you put in the syringe exactly?"

"Oh, just what you said, Brain," Pinky responded brightly, "All of it."

"ALL OF IT?" The Brain exploded into a tirade of indistinguishable curses and scientific gibberish. "Pinky, you know full well that that's not what I said! I specifically said one milliliter for a test subject and one milliliter for me!"

"Well, you see Brain, I got confused if you wanted to use two needles or just one," Pinky explained, waving his hands around trying to make sense of it. "I knew you were going to stick me first, then you, so I put it all in one syringe to save dirtying two! Thrifty, huh? NARF! I- Brain?"

Smoke and tongues of flame were puffing out of the furious mouse's nose like a bull. His eyes were flaring and Pinky knew he had made a truly horrible mistake. All for being efficient! He blamed Martha Stewart for that one.

"You could've double-check-checked before trying it out," Pinky suggested with a nervous smile.

"_PINKY_!"

The Brain's fingers were drumming, obviously trying to piece together the results in his overworked head.

"Pinky, this amount of serum in my bloodstream could be catastrophic! Do you have any idea the seriousness of this blunder? I could die! Or worse! Hopefully, the serum won't be so strong, or maybe it'll fade, but who knows? Fusing unstable nucleobases to my DNA could alter me so horribly you won't even know which end of me is up!"

"Oh, Brain, I didn't know!" Pinky sobbed, getting down on his hands and knees to beg. "I just wanted to help! What is going to happen to you?"

The Brain folded his hands, deep in thought. "I don't know. I should soon be acquiring a sort of invincibility: the powers to change my shape, to survive horrific incidents and emerge unscathed, defeat my enemies with nothing but keen wit. But who knows what will happen? We can only wait it out now, until morning. Thank goodness tomorrow is Halloween and the lab is closed. It'll give me time to rest- and think. We can record my heartbeat, and my blood flow; just to see just how much effect the serum has taken on me. I was supposed to record your behaviors, but now, I'm afraid I'll have to record my own, which will be hard knowing that I will most likely not be aware of any emotional changes. I can't believe I'm asking this, but would you help? You botched this whole thing up, and unfortunately, I have to rely on you to take charge."

Pinky leapt to his feet and took Brain's hands in his own. "Oh, Brain, I promise I'll help! So what do I do? Wait until morning to see what happens to you?"

The Brain glanced in fear at the clock. "I'm afraid so…" He gulped. "Just… wait until morning."


	2. The Transformation

HellOOOOO, Nurses! Yes, I've just updated this chapter and the next one should be out in a day, at longest! Stay tuned! _NARF! _

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><p>Pinky woke up to bright autumn sunlight shining through the lab window above their cage. He looked up at the sky, cloudy yet sunny, and smiled warmly to himself. He was about to go back to sleep when he realized his head was waking up, too, and when his head woke, he wasn't going fall back asleep. He was going to go eat, but was overcome with desperation to stay under the warm covers and snuggle for the rest of the day. He was torn, but ultimately decided to get up. He rolled over and accidentally slipped off the side of the bed.<p>

"WOAH!"

CRASH.

"_Haha_! NARF!" He stopped himself with a hush. "_Shhhh_, Pinky, you'll wake poor little Brain! And you know he's tired after that scary needle last night."

Pinky sat up and shook his head brightly. "Hmm… I should make breakfast. Ooh! I know, I'll make breakfast for me _and_ Brain. And then I'll surprise him and make him feel better!" He stretched his arms and held onto the bed to pull him up. But when he looked, he noticed that the half of the bed where Brain slept was empty, the sheets thrown back carelessly.

Pinky hopped up onto the bed and poked at the unoccupied mattress and pillow, as though The Brain would somehow appear out of thin air. But, of course, he didn't.

"Egad… he must be awake already, then!"

Pinky dragged himself down from the bed and across the floor of the cage, but when he looked around, he realized that his cagemate wasn't here, either. How peculiar…

He trudged out to the counter, but still couldn't see his friend. The counter was still spitspot, if one overlooked the hideous hypodermic needle laying menacingly against _Post-Transcriptional Gene Regulation_ in colored ink. Pinky peered over the corner of the counter, but the Brain wasn't down there, either! Across the lab, on the shelf above the gene splicing station and microwave, Billie could be heard humming to herself in her cage.

"OI, BILLIE! Oh, BIIIIIII-lliiiieee!" he called, waggling his arms around and trying to imagine himself as one of those funny dancing men in front of the car dealerships.

"Pinky? Pinky, is that you down there?"

The tall mouse smiled cheerfully and called back, "Yes, it's just me! _Troz_!"

Pinky could see Billie's bright eyes and nose sticking out from between the bars of her cage, and she waved sweetly. "Yoo- hoo! Happy Halloween! What's up with you?"

Pinky waved back, blushing, and called, "Happy Halloween to you, too, Billie! Em, have you seen Brain? I can't find him."

"Oh… I don't know… I've been sitting her filing my nails all morning and I ain't heard nothing of him. Sorry, Pinky, I ain't seen Egghead anywhere 'round here. Have you tried the break room?"

"Oh, no, Billie. I was just going down to get cereal for Brain and me. Maybe he is down there!" Pinky turned around and pitter-pattered off towards the break room.

Billie swallowed and reached out hastily. "Hey, Pinky?"

Pinky skid to a halt and turned around. "Yes?"

"Say, if he ain't in there, you can always come eat with me," she replied sweetly, fluttering her long eyelashes coquettishly.

Pinky blushed and grinned bashfully, stammering and tripping over his own words. "Em… I- you- er, I mean- I- no thanks- no thank you, Billie, I can't- I gotta go do- wha? I meant- erm- Happy Halloween! _NARF_!"

He barreled off down the counter like a rocket, and Billie sighed to herself. She sat back down with her file and said, "What a guy…"

Pinky stopped running when he was sure that he was out of sight. He swung around the corner, dizzy, and trudged down the tile to the open break room door. Billie was so sweet, and somehow… creepy. He didn't know why, but she just _was_. He thought maybe she fancied him. Is that why she built him a water park? It was interesting and something he couldn't comprehend. He fancied Phar Fignewton, but he never built _her_ a water park. How funny… but now wasn't the time to bother with those things.

He pushed open the heavy door and peered up at the counter. "Brain? Brain, are you in here?"

He scrambled up the side of a chair and wriggled up onto the counter, exhausted and regretting getting up at all. He looked around and saw no sign of Brain, but a coffee pot just sitting there. Coffee _did_ sound nice, but only if there was enough sugar. And cream. And honey.

He went to the crack in the wall where he and Brain hid their things and grabbed a thimble. He scrambled up the pot and lifted the lid-

"Hi, Pinky!"

"GAAAAAH!"

SPLASH.

Pinky went flailing into the warm coffee and wriggled up to the surface gasping in shock. Wait? What the-? Where did Brain go? He was just behind him!

Pinky pulled himself out of the pot and held on to the slippery side warily. He looked behind him, but Brain wasn't there. Hmmm… peculiarer…

"Pinky!"

"AH!"

CRUNCH.

Brain popped out of the coffeepot, Pinky flying back and slipping down the side of the pot. He just lie at the bottom weakly and scared half to death. Brain jumped down lightly and brushed himself off, his fur miraculously turning a snowy white once again. Pinky sat up, staring down in horror at his dark brown fur.

"Egad, Brain! What is it that you think you're doing in the coffeepot? Why, that's no place to be. And you frightened me so badly, too! Why, it'll take me weeks to get this color out of my fur."

The Brain helped Pinky stand and shrugged. "Sorry, Pinky," he said with a wide smile.

Pinky recoiled in horror with a shout. "Brain, did you? You… you said 'sorry'! You don't like saying 'sorry'!"

Brain nudged his friend. "Oh, Pinky, I'm just messing around with you. Just to get you to laugh, you know?"

Pinky perked up brightly, somehow completely oblivious to the complete change of his friend's nature. "Right, Brain! So… how do you think the experiment is going?"

The Brain looked at him strangely, and Pinky was suddenly taken aback. "Experiment? What experiment?" The Brain's eyes lit up. "Oh! I get it! Shoot. I wanted it to be a surprise. Oh, well. Come with me!"

He led a bewildered Pinky along to the stove, where he was cooking…

"Ooh, Brain, pancakes! My favorite! And look, Brain! Oh, Brain…"

The pancakes were shaped like little candy corns and pumpkins and bats.

"See, I got bored. And it's Halloween, and I'm really in the spirit!"

Pinky knew from years of trying that his little friend didn't like hugging, so he replied, "Ooh, Brain, I love it! Thank you! _Oh_!"

_SMMMACK!_

Pinky stumbled back, holding his mouth in shock. It seemed like the whole world had been put on pause. He couldn't even remember… it was a blur, and it had only happened just a moment ago! Had that just happened? The Brain _hated_ touching people, let alone-

"Egad Brain, y-you _kissed_ me! _Why_ did you kiss me?"

The Brain seemed just as horrified as his cagemate. He looked up into the big, blue eyes, dreadfully confused. He then looked over at the pancakes, then back at Pinky. His eyes widened.

"Pinky… I think…"

He took off running at full speed towards the door.

"Brain, wait for meeeeeee!" Pinky squealed, chasing his friend across the tile. He followed his cagemate up the pipe in the hall, coughing and hacking on the dust gathered in it. He squirmed all the way up onto the roof, but, despite his swiftness, couldn't catch up with his friend. He stood up on the hard, cold roof of the building, dead leaves skittering past him and three pigeons cooing on the edge of another pipe. He turned around.

"Brain? Where are you? Oh, there you are, Brain! _Troz_!" He waved, but The Brain was running across the roof furiously, off toward the edge.

"Brain, wait! What are you?- _Brain_!" Pinky ran faster, but was too late as his friend boldly leapt. He scrambled across the tiles and slid to the edge, reaching out and crying hysterically as his friend disappeared from sight.

"BRAIN! BRAIN, WHERE ARE YOU?" He could feel his wide blue eyes welling up with tears as he peered down, desperate for a sign of his dear friend. But he wasn't there! "Oh, Brain… poor, poor Brain…" He buried his face in his hands and sobbed miserably.

"_Yeeeeeeeee__eee__ee__EEEEEEEEEES_!"

Pinky shot to his feet and looked down again. He smiled widely. "Brain!" he cried, waving ecstatically.

The Brain stood brightly on his feet, not a scratch on him from that suicidal jump. He was applauding himself for his cleverness and fluttered up through the air, lighter than a cloud, and landed neatly next to Pinky.

"Pinky, it was success! I've finally done it! Nothing can harm me! I am bright and springy and strong now, more than I've ever been! With my newfound power, Pinky, I can finally do it! Take over the world, starting today! Can you imagine, Pinky?" He flung his arm around his friend's shoulders and waved his hand out at the city laying before them. "I can see it now, Pinky: A better place for all mankind, ruled by none other than a lab mouse. One day, this will be ours, a world of perfection and ingenuity of monumental proportions."

"Ours?"

The Brain hugged his friend tightly. "Of course ours, Pinky. You've helped me ever since I began carrying out my master plan, and have never once left my side. It's only reasonable that you should get some sort of reward for your assistance."

Pinky cried into his cagemate's shoulder happily. "Oh, Brain, thank you! _NARF_! I'm so happy! I- oh! Brain! What's _this_?"

The Brain froze. "What? What's what, Pinky?" he asked sharply.

Pinky looked down his friend's back to see something really very odd. At first, he thought it was from the coffee, but upon closer inspection, he realized it wasn't. He ran his fingers through The Brain's fur, feeling it carefully. His white fur was coarse and short, but this… this was thick, fluffy, and _black_. Black as ink. "_Naaaaarf_…"

The Brain grabbed his cagemate's shoulders and shook him. "What is it, Pinky?"

"Your fur!" Pinky cried, "It's black! Like a panda bear!"

The Brain grabbed for his shoulderblade and plucked out a hair with a wince. He eyed it, as it started white and grew darker and darker to the inky black tip. He swallowed and it felt like a rock going down. He flicked the hair away and said, "Well, it's of no importance. Perhaps it's just a side effect. But no matter! We must go begin our plan for world domination- _after_ we eat our pancakes."

* * *

><p>The Brain was scribbling down on his notepad. His head was teeming with endless ways one with such endearing powers could take over the world. But as he worked, he couldn't help but feel distracted. Something was wrong, and it wasn't the newfound strength and humor. It was something else, but he wasn't sure what. Perhaps it was the patch of black fur on his back. But of course it couldn't have been! It was just a side effect. Some of Yakko's other nucleotides must have evaded his attention and invaded the serum. It was a careless mistake that he may have to face… No! He'll regret later, when he's not so busy. It was time to get to work, not sit and worry about everything. The world was waiting!<p>

The Brain continued formulating his plan. With his newfound invincibility, he could easily overthrow anything: The White House, the House of Representatives, Club 33! Anything was possible! He could reach new heights with this strength, overtake nations, conduct an orchestra of perfect, intelligent, untied countries- And all it took was one shot. One puny shot! Who cared about the side affects, or the fact the Pinky lodged a humongous needle up his arm? The world was just inches from him now, just waiting patiently for its new leader.

But as he began thinking and pondering to his self, an idea hatched that would further enhance his master plan. He scribbled down everything as fast as he could, thrilled with the idea. He could feel a dance coming on- no doubt the loony serum working its way through him- and he had to fight the urge and continue on writing.

He would infiltrate Nickelodeon first. Nothing like knocking out all the biggest cartoons as soon as possible. More viewers meant more followers. And juvenile viewers were all for the better, he understood, because they would grow up listening to his propaganda, raised, shaped, molded and polished into the ideal, loyal followers. He could see the coming Saturday morning in households across America- millions of families transfixed by his marvelous antics as he delivered his inauguration address in between Spongebob segments. What type of leader leaves out an honorable inauguration address? Certainly not he; he wanted his future citizens to see just how intelligent their new ruler was, after all.

The Brain was tingling with excitement at his fantastic plan- wait. It wasn't his insides tingling at all, he realized, breaking out into a cold sweat. He reached back impatiently, instinctively, and viciously ripped out a hank of hair, just to see, and to his horror, saw that more was turning black. He wasn't the only one that saw it, either. Pinky had been hiding behind a beaker, watching in terror.

The Brain cast the changing hairs away impatiently and snatched up his pencil again. He didn't have time for this nonsense, not when there was so much to do. But somewhere deep in him, he knew something was very, very wrong. And Pinky did, too.

The tall, gawky mouse slipped back into the cage unseen and ran around the corner to hide in their bed, trying to ignore his friend's condition. But he couldn't! Something was certainly wrong. He glanced through the bars at his panda-ified cagemate and hugged his knees to his chest. Maybe he _would_ be better off at Billie's.

The Brain continued writing, biting his lips in excitement, yet all the while feeling his back crawl horribly. Finally, he threw down his pencil and stormed off to the cage, ignoring the dreadful tingles as best he could.

"Enough of this," he snapped, denying himself any sort of laugh at the situation, as was now his habit with Yakko's entertained DNA coursing through his veins. This was no laughing matter. He couldn't let his _fur_ get in the way of world domination.

He looked around the cage for something to cover his back, just to keep him from pulling and feeling any more. And he didn't need anyone seeing- particularly his darling Billie or that miserable oaf Snowball. His eyes scanned the back of the cage and his eyes locked with Pinky's dress-up trunk tucked in the corner. Bingo!

He ran to the trunk and dug through the costumes, desperate to find something; A jacket maybe? Anything would work. He had to try. If anyone found out, especially Pinky (In Pinky's case, he didn't want him knowing that the black had been spreading, he decided), he would be doomed. And he wasn't particularly keen on thinking about it, either, and covering it up might reduce that unbearable tickling and costly distraction. Aha! Perfect! He pulled up a black sweater and wrinkled his nose. Very Steve Jobs, but it would have to do.

"Brain?"

Brain whirled around and locked eyes with his tall companion. He stuffed everything back in the trunk and cried, "Pinky! Get away! I mean- um, what are you doing here?"

Pinky stared at his toes nervously. "Em, I was just going to see Billie. What are _you_ doing?"

The Brain coughed. "Nothing… Just… looking for a Halloween costume?"

"Brain!" Pinky squealed, clapping his hands. He had forgotten completely about The Brain's fur by then, as common to his sweet, forgetful little head. His only thoughts were of Halloween, now. He never got to dress up and go out because Brain never wanted to go tricks-or-treating or to the Warner Brothers Studio costume party with him. But now he did! It must've been the serum, making him more fun.

Pinky clapped his hands gleefully. "Oh, Brain, I want to dress up _too_! I'm so excited! I didn't think we were going to go, especially after you ripped up the invitation into thousands of tiny pieces and threw them out the window and yelled at me about how you didn't want to go this year and then you said 'let's go' and the theme song played and we just forgot about everything and kept going on with your experiment! Ooh! Ooh! We should be the Mario Brothers together! I want to be Luigi!"

"But… I want to be Luigi?" The Brain said clueless, buying time as well as trying to hide his back by pressing it up against the corner of the trunk. He didn't even know what Mario Brothers were, for that matter. All he cared about was the sleeve of the sweater clamped in the lid of the trunk. He resisted the urge to put it out and run away, but fingered it, ready for Pinky to leave him alone already.

"But Brain, you can't be Luigi."

"And why not?"

"Because you're not tall," Pinky said.

The Brain stared, trying instinctively to understand his cagemate's foolishness. It took his focus off his fur, at least. Just go along with it, and then maybe he'll go away, and then everything will be just fine. Just nod and agree.

"Er… fine then, you can be Luigi."

Pinky could sense the awkwardness and coughed brightly, somehow hoping that they would just forget what was going on. He had almost deciphered how Brain's moods worked, and generally knew how to tell if he was uncomfortable or not. Note the word _generally_. Sometimes, The Brain's discomfort was painfully obvious, and he could not comprehend it, or chose not to acknowledge it, depending on the situation. Usually, if he could tell either instinctively or based on puppy-like observation, he would try to lighten the awkwardness with a joke completely inappropriate to the situation or a good NARF. He usually got bopped afterwards; the foolishness on the joke determined the size of the bop.

Overall, Pinky didn't have a very good grip on the concept of being 'uncomfortable'; especially for himself. He just went along with The Brain's schemes like an obedient, happy dog, though complaining and pointing out flaws _were_ things he loved to do, too. He was exceptionally good at pointing out the flaws, even though he wasn't even conscious that he did it. However, there were the rare occasions that he would grow uncomfortable, and those occasions usually involved Billie. Why he wanted to go to her now was completely beyond his adorable, limited thinking, but all he knew was Brain currently made him even more uncomfortable than Billie ever had, even more than when she had _BAMMED!_ him right on his kisser.

Now he tried again to break the discomfort, as he always did unsuccessfully. He coughed again hopefully.

"Are you excited to see everybody, Brain?"

"Uh, of course, Pinky…" The Brain was trying to come up with something. He glanced down and saw in horror that the black hair had spread down his tail. His fist clenched the sleeve so tight his knuckles whitened. He was beginning to think this wasn't a side affect anymore. He swallowed.

"I can't wait! It's been how long since we saw everybody, would you say? Emmmm, maybe two months? Oh, no, probably four…" Pinky said, tapping his chin thoughtfully. Then his eyes locked with the tail. He immediately remembered what was the matter with his cagemate in the first place and tore his eyes away, gulping. Should he go to Billie? Now even her cage was sounding like a pretty good idea. Aw, crikey, forget Billie! All he could think of was Brain!

Oh, he was horrible at staying calm! He hated this constant switching between normal, cranky, loveable Brain and cheerful Brain! Usual Brain only wanted to take over the world and never anything else, but Happy Brain was bright and always having fun! Pinky liked both of them, but Happy Brain looked different, and that was creepy! It was like a double-sided Lego head, with a normal face on one side and a fun and happy one on the other, but the happy one was becoming scary, and he didn't like it at all! He felt like he was going to explode should the Brain keep changing in that way!

"Er, well, Brain, I uh, have to be going- now. Em, I'll see you… _GAH!_" A tuft of thick black fur sprouted up behind Brain's ears. Pinky grabbed his head and jumped up, squawking like a broken fire alarm. "TROZ! NARF! POIT! GLARB! I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE! _WAAAAAAAAH!_" He bolted out of the cage and went off screaming across the counter.

The Brain nearly ran after him, but the feeling spreading over him was too much and he watched him go, feeling almost paralyzed. When the tall mouse was gone, he whirled around, flinging open the trunk frantically. On the underside of the lid a small mirror was bolted, and The Brain brought it down from the panel with trembling hands, his insides flip-flopping at what he might see-

"_AAAAAAHHHHHHH!_"

He clutched at his head and stared horrified at his reflection, watching the black fur spread across his ear like a sort of slow motion wildfire. And Pinky thought he had hair problems, Brain thought bitterly. Talk about a bad hair day.

Brain snatched up the sleeve and pulled up a turtleneck. He held it up disapprovingly, worried about his appearance. But anything to cover up that fur! Why was this happening, he could only think. How strange. In other words, how utterly terrifying! And to only make it worse, he felt equally amused! Amused! Was he crazy?

Regularly, this would have been appalling and fascinating, and now, it was absolutely hilarious! The serum did just more than give him the strength of a cartoon character, but unfortunately, the inability to handle serious situations appropriately. He felt as though he were doing well, keeping the hyperactivity locked up, but it was growing more difficult to do faster than the black fur. That's why he relented to Pinky's pleas to go to the party. At least that's what he told himself. Deep down, he had a sudden urge to go, some wild excitement overthrowing him that he couldn't compress. Now what to do about Pinky was beyond him. Going to find him was a foolish idea, but pretending nothing was wrong would make everything even worse.

_Just let him go_, The Brain thought. _We'll see how this big mess will play out_.


End file.
